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At the request of Staff, I am assembling my various AW facebook shenanigans into a single thread, Here you go.
Part 1 The entire Epic Rap Battles of AW
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
SVEN ERIKSON VS MILO FALKNER
BEGIN!
Sven: I'm the first dwarf in town, I Am the king of slays
It's the point of my sword that's gonna end your days
My super sized shield is now town's alarm
Hell I died three times to save you all from harm
Milo: I represent the law in this town ya hear
I'll sever all your limbs, leave you on your rear
I'm the only sane man living here in whitewood
I'll clean up this town in a way you never could
Sven: I've been here three moons proving its not that hard
Hell I've already taken on the biggest dogs in the yard
When I give my word its worth its weight in gold
My honor is something that can't be bought or sold
Why'd they pick you to represent the Leoden
you just got killed accidentaly by Theobin
I almost finaled Maz with a sudden attack
It took a death aspect just to hold me back!
Milo: the way you are going you ain't gonna last
Give it two more moons and you're a thing of the past
I'm the dual wielding baddass, an expert fighter
I'll leave you a Memento from my sword Anklebiter
I have a tactical mind, your brain's made of stone
Any idiot could tell you not to charge in alone
You think imposing order isn't that hard?
Well I'm not the one who just got kicked off the guard!
I'm a useful asset, you're just a pain
You're such a loose cannon you make the wer bear look sane
Sven: You say I'm bad with people, you're head's full of rocks
At least I could make friends with Socks the find fox!
I wield skills that cannot be parried
I fight someone and their dead, against you their just harried
You lose your head in combat, let emotions hold you back
I charge right on in, and I lead the attack
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
TAKA VS MAZ
BEGIN!
Taka: You think you own this town, well here's a news flash buddy
Your "perfect" little plan, it looks kind of muddy
After this epic battle you'll be missing some fangs
You can't beat me, I'm the Empress of Xheng!
Maz: If you think you can stop me you're the bigger fool
I'm a white court vampire, not some two bit ghoul
I run this town, do not try to deny it
You wanna take me down, go ahead and try it!
Taka: My secrets have secrets, that you can't understand
I've crushed smarter things than you in the palm of my hand
Hell the town don't even need me to take care of you
Once Radcliffe returns you're just a puddle of goo
I've got a web of alliances so watch your back
Your three psycho band is coming under attack
Maz: You can't touch me and you can't touch Star
Between the two of us, you aren't going far
Every plan you attempt, every plot you engage
Fails when it meets with my bloodthirsty rage
I've brought in another vampire, say hi to Rowan
Add her to the fight and you know where it's goin'
We own this town, you are outclassed
We're gonna lay a big beatdown on your ass
Taka: Your time is up, you have been here too long
White Wood will celebrate, the moment you're gone
You failed to convince the town to join you
In your poor, pathetic, excuse for a coup
You thought you could talk your way out of trouble
Now you're branded a traitor, bet that burst your bubble
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
SIRII VS SMATZ
BEGIN!
Sirii: I am the Alpha, I run this pack
You submitted to me, Imp, so turn on back
I'm a servant of death, see this red light
I got a malediction with your name on it tonight
Smatz: listen she wolf, I'll bring the pain
I'll leave you there looking like a dog in the rain
I am crazy, I'm psychic, completely unstable
A messy death for you is what I bring to the table
Sirii: listen little imp, you're the size of a flea
You've got more people here after you than just me
You got killed by a brand new member of town
You let him surprise you , then you just went down
I am a force of nature, I'm the top dog
I can crush you at will, like a helpless little frog
Smatz: now you listen here, my naieve little friend
You lack the strength to bring someone to their end
You lack the guts to kill when you have to
You couldn't even execute the guy who tried to kill you
You can't run the town, don't try to deny it
One speech from Maz, it turns into a riot
You call yourself the Alpha, but you fight like Omega
Hell I got twenty of your gold that I'm not gonna pay yah
Sirii: you seem to think that killing's all there is
In that case remember, you fight like piss
understanding, it seems, you don't got any
Compassion either, just think about Jenny
You're a rabid dog, a threat to the town
We're all better off just putting you down!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
FALIN STONESKULL VS ANAXANDROS
BEGIN!
Falin: you want to fight? Ok I'm game
I'll put down the hammer, I'm bringing the pain
Once we're finished here, there'll be blood everywhere
Cause you're about to get smashed by the WER BEAR GER!
Axe: you think you're tougher? Prepare to fight
You can't handle the power of this Cornelian Knight
With my shield at my left, and sword at my right
I'll flatten you before the sun shows first light
Falin: I flatten punks like you, straight into the ground
I pack enough crushing blows to launch you right out of town
You're the ex guard captain, I am you're replacement
Prepare yourself for some bear defacement
I'll crush you with the power of my rhyme
Your gonna have to stop, cause it's HAMMER TIME
Axe: you think I'm gonna sit here in the corner and cower?
From a man who spends his time in the field picking flowers?
You got another thing coming if you think you can win
I'll skin your grizzly bear, make a cape from its skin
As for the guard, I'll make you a bet
You're both the captain, and the guard's biggest threat
You say you want the bear contained, that's something I doubt
Only one guard could do that and you threw him out
Falin: I can't be beaten by the likes of you
When the mauling is finished, you'll be a puddle of goo
I'm a crazy, psychotic, barbarian, berserker
You're just a knight in training, and mostly a shirker
And speaking of training you might as well stay in bed
Cause your trainer Roslin, I'm sorry, she's dead
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
PRAETANDROS VS BELOWYN
BEGIN
Praetandros: I am the wall I hold the line
With my shield and my armor I'll take your hits just fine
I've prepared myself for this armored clash
But I doubt you're ready for my, SHIELD BASH!
Belowyn: Who are you supposed to be? I can't remember
I was expecting to fight a true contender
Jay-ek turtle tribe, strong as a rock
You're gonna wind up with a case of shell shock
Praetandros: You're quite a big man, in fact rather tall
But the bigger they are, the harder they fall
I'm from Lacon, turtle tribe, know what that means?
The very thought of fighting me should be haunting your dreams
I'll make soup out of you , you won't go out with a bang
You talk like a warrior, but fight like a Xheng
No wonder the Runa are conquering you
I've found stronger challengers on the sole of my shoe
Belowyn: ooooh, a Lacon, yeah now I'm scared
You think you can beat me? Buddy you're not prepared
You have some time in the agoge, a childhood misspent
And too many nights in your Drillmaster's tent
Spend some time in the forests, survive in the woods
That will actualy show you, who's got the goods.
Praetandros: Is that all you've got? Then this fight is over
To survive you'd need all the luck of the world twice over
This is it Jay-eck it's the end of the line,
Victory in this fight is gonna be mine
So hide in your shell and tuck in your leg
When this fight is done, I'll crack you like an egg
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
Epic Rap Battles of AW
Star Vs Flynn
BEGIN
Flynn: Alright, Alright, I'll play this game
After facing my herd, you won't feel the same
You're an unstable mixture, about to explode
All you can do is sit and watch your life implode
Star: Ok wooly boy, get ready to fight
I'm makin lamb chops out of you tonight
So get your pan-flute out, and sound retreat
Cause you're up for one big cloven defeat!
Flynn: I've seen the way you're going, you ain't gonna last
One more moon and you're just, a thing of the past
You are out of string, and out of luck
When I come at you, you'd better just duck
I'm real Fey Star, not some crazy madling
And I'm not the one who has run out of string
Star: Stand down goat man, we'll talk who's comin in last
You've lost all your titles, you're a thing of the past
They tried to kill me, you can see they failed
Against me all your forces paled
You're the one about to end, I'll be just fine
So step out of the way, this star's gonna shine!
Flynn: I've done the counting, I've done the math
Look at the numbers against you, comin down the path
Look at all these forces, twenty-odd against three
Nothing you got can stop our victory
What burns twice as bright, lasts half as long I told ya
So think what gonna happen after you go nova!
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
MILO FAULKNER VERSUS IMALA THE JAYEK
BEGIN
Milo: Listen up, Wolf Gal, I'll make this quick
Which limb do I start with, I'll let you pick
You came into town, started off just fine
Then you had to go crazy, you just crossed the line
Imala: Listen Runan puppet, I'm here to stay
My pack can take your guard any time of the day
Jay-eck freedom fighters, we're not gonna stop
To clean you up after this fight they'll need a bucket and mop
Milo: I'm guard captain of this town yah hear
I'm an artist with a blade, I'll sever more than just your ear
I'm not the only one coming, it's the whole town
I'm selling tickets to see who gets to bring you down
Lieutenant Olmec put his trust in me
So lets start this battle, I aint gonna flee
You are the one who's gonna die today
So lets start your sentence, DISARM MAIM SLAY!
Imala: You want to battle that way? I ain't gonna shirk.
You'll be the one lying face down in the dirt
Long house council, Galief we Represent
Into Runa's numbers we are putting a dent
We already killed you once, and still took your money
The look on your face, damn that was funny
No force in Whitewood, can stand against us
This will end quickly, prepare to bite the dust
You want to talk about allies? That I can do
I'm calling in my pack, AOW AOW AWOOOOOO!
Milo: Bring them on, you stupid little runt
Leode have always been big fans of the hunt
I've got the guard at my side, Runa's might at my back
We'll make a nice collection of pelts from your pack.
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
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