Adventurers Wanted Tavern
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Endric Glendale on September 02, 2015, 10:10:33 am
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At the request of Staff, I am assembling my various AW facebook shenanigans into a single thread, Here you go.
Part 1 The entire Epic Rap Battles of AW
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
SVEN ERIKSON VS MILO FALKNER
BEGIN!
Sven: I'm the first dwarf in town, I Am the king of slays
It's the point of my sword that's gonna end your days
My super sized shield is now town's alarm
Hell I died three times to save you all from harm
Milo: I represent the law in this town ya hear
I'll sever all your limbs, leave you on your rear
I'm the only sane man living here in whitewood
I'll clean up this town in a way you never could
Sven: I've been here three moons proving its not that hard
Hell I've already taken on the biggest dogs in the yard
When I give my word its worth its weight in gold
My honor is something that can't be bought or sold
Why'd they pick you to represent the Leoden
you just got killed accidentaly by Theobin
I almost finaled Maz with a sudden attack
It took a death aspect just to hold me back!
Milo: the way you are going you ain't gonna last
Give it two more moons and you're a thing of the past
I'm the dual wielding baddass, an expert fighter
I'll leave you a Memento from my sword Anklebiter
I have a tactical mind, your brain's made of stone
Any idiot could tell you not to charge in alone
You think imposing order isn't that hard?
Well I'm not the one who just got kicked off the guard!
I'm a useful asset, you're just a pain
You're such a loose cannon you make the wer bear look sane
Sven: You say I'm bad with people, you're head's full of rocks
At least I could make friends with Socks the find fox!
I wield skills that cannot be parried
I fight someone and their dead, against you their just harried
You lose your head in combat, let emotions hold you back
I charge right on in, and I lead the attack
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
TAKA VS MAZ
BEGIN!
Taka: You think you own this town, well here's a news flash buddy
Your "perfect" little plan, it looks kind of muddy
After this epic battle you'll be missing some fangs
You can't beat me, I'm the Empress of Xheng!
Maz: If you think you can stop me you're the bigger fool
I'm a white court vampire, not some two bit ghoul
I run this town, do not try to deny it
You wanna take me down, go ahead and try it!
Taka: My secrets have secrets, that you can't understand
I've crushed smarter things than you in the palm of my hand
Hell the town don't even need me to take care of you
Once Radcliffe returns you're just a puddle of goo
I've got a web of alliances so watch your back
Your three psycho band is coming under attack
Maz: You can't touch me and you can't touch Star
Between the two of us, you aren't going far
Every plan you attempt, every plot you engage
Fails when it meets with my bloodthirsty rage
I've brought in another vampire, say hi to Rowan
Add her to the fight and you know where it's goin'
We own this town, you are outclassed
We're gonna lay a big beatdown on your ass
Taka: Your time is up, you have been here too long
White Wood will celebrate, the moment you're gone
You failed to convince the town to join you
In your poor, pathetic, excuse for a coup
You thought you could talk your way out of trouble
Now you're branded a traitor, bet that burst your bubble
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
SIRII VS SMATZ
BEGIN!
Sirii: I am the Alpha, I run this pack
You submitted to me, Imp, so turn on back
I'm a servant of death, see this red light
I got a malediction with your name on it tonight
Smatz: listen she wolf, I'll bring the pain
I'll leave you there looking like a dog in the rain
I am crazy, I'm psychic, completely unstable
A messy death for you is what I bring to the table
Sirii: listen little imp, you're the size of a flea
You've got more people here after you than just me
You got killed by a brand new member of town
You let him surprise you , then you just went down
I am a force of nature, I'm the top dog
I can crush you at will, like a helpless little frog
Smatz: now you listen here, my naieve little friend
You lack the strength to bring someone to their end
You lack the guts to kill when you have to
You couldn't even execute the guy who tried to kill you
You can't run the town, don't try to deny it
One speech from Maz, it turns into a riot
You call yourself the Alpha, but you fight like Omega
Hell I got twenty of your gold that I'm not gonna pay yah
Sirii: you seem to think that killing's all there is
In that case remember, you fight like piss
understanding, it seems, you don't got any
Compassion either, just think about Jenny
You're a rabid dog, a threat to the town
We're all better off just putting you down!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
FALIN STONESKULL VS ANAXANDROS
BEGIN!
Falin: you want to fight? Ok I'm game
I'll put down the hammer, I'm bringing the pain
Once we're finished here, there'll be blood everywhere
Cause you're about to get smashed by the WER BEAR GER!
Axe: you think you're tougher? Prepare to fight
You can't handle the power of this Cornelian Knight
With my shield at my left, and sword at my right
I'll flatten you before the sun shows first light
Falin: I flatten punks like you, straight into the ground
I pack enough crushing blows to launch you right out of town
You're the ex guard captain, I am you're replacement
Prepare yourself for some bear defacement
I'll crush you with the power of my rhyme
Your gonna have to stop, cause it's HAMMER TIME
Axe: you think I'm gonna sit here in the corner and cower?
From a man who spends his time in the field picking flowers?
You got another thing coming if you think you can win
I'll skin your grizzly bear, make a cape from its skin
As for the guard, I'll make you a bet
You're both the captain, and the guard's biggest threat
You say you want the bear contained, that's something I doubt
Only one guard could do that and you threw him out
Falin: I can't be beaten by the likes of you
When the mauling is finished, you'll be a puddle of goo
I'm a crazy, psychotic, barbarian, berserker
You're just a knight in training, and mostly a shirker
And speaking of training you might as well stay in bed
Cause your trainer Roslin, I'm sorry, she's dead
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
PRAETANDROS VS BELOWYN
BEGIN
Praetandros: I am the wall I hold the line
With my shield and my armor I'll take your hits just fine
I've prepared myself for this armored clash
But I doubt you're ready for my, SHIELD BASH!
Belowyn: Who are you supposed to be? I can't remember
I was expecting to fight a true contender
Jay-ek turtle tribe, strong as a rock
You're gonna wind up with a case of shell shock
Praetandros: You're quite a big man, in fact rather tall
But the bigger they are, the harder they fall
I'm from Lacon, turtle tribe, know what that means?
The very thought of fighting me should be haunting your dreams
I'll make soup out of you , you won't go out with a bang
You talk like a warrior, but fight like a Xheng
No wonder the Runa are conquering you
I've found stronger challengers on the sole of my shoe
Belowyn: ooooh, a Lacon, yeah now I'm scared
You think you can beat me? Buddy you're not prepared
You have some time in the agoge, a childhood misspent
And too many nights in your Drillmaster's tent
Spend some time in the forests, survive in the woods
That will actualy show you, who's got the goods.
Praetandros: Is that all you've got? Then this fight is over
To survive you'd need all the luck of the world twice over
This is it Jay-eck it's the end of the line,
Victory in this fight is gonna be mine
So hide in your shell and tuck in your leg
When this fight is done, I'll crack you like an egg
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
Epic Rap Battles of AW
Star Vs Flynn
BEGIN
Flynn: Alright, Alright, I'll play this game
After facing my herd, you won't feel the same
You're an unstable mixture, about to explode
All you can do is sit and watch your life implode
Star: Ok wooly boy, get ready to fight
I'm makin lamb chops out of you tonight
So get your pan-flute out, and sound retreat
Cause you're up for one big cloven defeat!
Flynn: I've seen the way you're going, you ain't gonna last
One more moon and you're just, a thing of the past
You are out of string, and out of luck
When I come at you, you'd better just duck
I'm real Fey Star, not some crazy madling
And I'm not the one who has run out of string
Star: Stand down goat man, we'll talk who's comin in last
You've lost all your titles, you're a thing of the past
They tried to kill me, you can see they failed
Against me all your forces paled
You're the one about to end, I'll be just fine
So step out of the way, this star's gonna shine!
Flynn: I've done the counting, I've done the math
Look at the numbers against you, comin down the path
Look at all these forces, twenty-odd against three
Nothing you got can stop our victory
What burns twice as bright, lasts half as long I told ya
So think what gonna happen after you go nova!
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
MILO FAULKNER VERSUS IMALA THE JAYEK
BEGIN
Milo: Listen up, Wolf Gal, I'll make this quick
Which limb do I start with, I'll let you pick
You came into town, started off just fine
Then you had to go crazy, you just crossed the line
Imala: Listen Runan puppet, I'm here to stay
My pack can take your guard any time of the day
Jay-eck freedom fighters, we're not gonna stop
To clean you up after this fight they'll need a bucket and mop
Milo: I'm guard captain of this town yah hear
I'm an artist with a blade, I'll sever more than just your ear
I'm not the only one coming, it's the whole town
I'm selling tickets to see who gets to bring you down
Lieutenant Olmec put his trust in me
So lets start this battle, I aint gonna flee
You are the one who's gonna die today
So lets start your sentence, DISARM MAIM SLAY!
Imala: You want to battle that way? I ain't gonna shirk.
You'll be the one lying face down in the dirt
Long house council, Galief we Represent
Into Runa's numbers we are putting a dent
We already killed you once, and still took your money
The look on your face, damn that was funny
No force in Whitewood, can stand against us
This will end quickly, prepare to bite the dust
You want to talk about allies? That I can do
I'm calling in my pack, AOW AOW AWOOOOOO!
Milo: Bring them on, you stupid little runt
Leode have always been big fans of the hunt
I've got the guard at my side, Runa's might at my back
We'll make a nice collection of pelts from your pack.
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
-
Part 2 Viva La Vivamancers
They're into science fiction, pink lights and parasites.
Darkness is comin for them, gonna extinguish light.
They're in to crazy magics, with death they'll pick a fight
They've got an augmentation, for every day and night.
they'll whip you up a squishie and they'll put in in your brain
They'll bind you with some crazy life and you might just stand to gain
Or you might just go insane. Come On!
Upside, inside out Viva la Vivamancers
Death won't keep you down , Viva la Vivamancers
Might keep you a-live, might just give you cancer
Insides inside out! Viva la Vivamancers
Viva la Vivamancers,
Viva la Vivamancers.
Woke up in a laboratory, on a slab of grey metal
They took my heart, they took my kidney
Then they stuck in something else
Some potions taste of water and some taste like Xheng Champagne
Once you've had audacious life you will never be the same
Yeah, It will make you go insane.
Upside, inside out Viva la Vivamancers
Death won't keep you down down, Viva la Vivamancers
Might keep you a-live, might just give you cancer
Insides inside out! Viva la Vivamancers
Viva la Vivamancers,
Viva la vivamanvers.
they'll whip you up a squishie and they'll put in in your brain
They'll bind you with some crazy life and you might just stand to gain
Or you might just go insane. Come On!
Upside, inside out Viva la Vivamancers
Death won't keep you down, Viva la Vivamancers
Might keep you a-live, or just give you cancer
Insides inside out! Viva la Vivamancers
Viva la Vivamancers,
Viva la vivamanvers.
Upside, inside out Viva la Vivamancers
Death won't keep you down, Viva la Vivamancers
Might keep you a-live, or just give you cancer
Insides inside out! Viva la Vivamancers
Viva la Vivamancers,
Viva la vivamanvers.
Purple Light
I throw spell packets through the air sometimes,
Saying AYO! Take an ice bolt!
I'm gonna kill and raise you here tonight,
Saying AYO! Undead let's go!
I came to fight, fight, fight, fight
I got a purple light, light, light, light
I fight Cornelian Knights, Knights, Knights, Knights
Just living my un-life, life, life, life
Yeah, yeah
'Cause it goes on and on and on...
And it goes on and on and on...
Yeah!
I throw spell packets through the air sometimes,
Saying AYO! Take an ice bolt!
I'm gonna kill and raise you here tonight,
Saying AYO! Undead let's go!
'Cause we gon' Kill someone,
In a magic fight,
We gon' rais them up,
With our purple light!
'Cause I told you once,
Now I told you twice,
We gon' rais them up,
With our Purple light!
I came to kill, kill, kill, kill
I got that graveyard chill, chill, chill, chill
I'm on that spooky hill, hill, hill, hill
Control undead with just my will, will, will, will
Yeah, yeah
'Cause it goes on and on and on...
And it goes on and on and on...
Yeah!
I throw spell packets through the air sometimes,
Saying AYO! Take an ice bolt!
I'm gonna kill and raise you here tonight,
Saying AYO! Undead let's go!
'Cause we gon' Kill someone,
In a magic fight,
We gon' rais them up,
With our purple light!
'Cause I told you once,
Now I told you twice,
We gon' rais them up,
With our Purple light!
I throw spell packets through the air sometimes,
Saying AYO! Take an ice bolt!
I'm gonna kill and raise you here tonight,
Saying AYO! Undead let's go!
-
Part 3: We're Not a Team
[VAL]
I look vicious, mean and scary
My sneer could curdle dairy
And poison wise, my hands are not the cleanest
And I've got my giant sword
And I act just like a lord
I really like to fight a lot with demons
Can'tcha see me in the Dark a fighting Guardia
Whacking all the demons till they bleed
Yep, I'm glad they call me deadly
With my big bonesword at ready
But when we're in a fight
We're not a team
[TOWN]
We're Not a Team!
We're not a team!
See, we're not quite as effective as we seem!
Though we do like breaking femurs
And we often hang with dreamers
We can't cooperate
We're not a team
[STAR]
I've got Stars upon my faces
My brain's off to the races
And let's not even state my complications
And I've got my psychic woes,
And crazy plots up to my nose
I swear I want to kill the voidic section
But you see me in the darkness with the demons
Selling out a townsfolk to their king
Though I'm one nuts crazy blighter
My plan's are failing once a nighter--
'Cause when we're in a fight we're not a team
[TOWN]
We're Not a Team
We're Not a Team
That's exactly why our ass keeps getting creamed
Though there's often people screaming
Especially when we're off dreaming --
Once we get into a fight
We're not a team
Pry would like to coat us all with magma
Godek just wants to murder humankind
Deniyah speaks in rhyme
And spear bandit argues crime
Copper hunts
Demon foes
And sometimes he does puppet shows
[VAL ]
And Siri must protect all of the animals!
[MILO]
And my guard's not quite effective
Some of them are quite defective
They mainly think in ways that are quite funny
On an island Runa owns
Where I must often stand alone
And I get bribed with giant piles of money
[RADCLIFFE]
They're not a team!
[TOWN]
We're not a team!
[MILO]
Sometimes I want to hit them with a beam!
[SAETH]
And with every passing hour
Something threatens our fey flowers--
'Cause in this crazy town
We're not a team
[TOWN:]
We're not a Team
Not in the dream!
Cause our diff 'rences are
really that extreme!
Call us brutal --
Sick --
Sadistic --
And grotesquely pessimistic
'Cause when it really count's
We're not a team!
[MILO:]
We're Not a team
[THEO]
We're not a team
[Town]
Yes when it really counts we're not a team
-
Part 4: I'll kill Some Void Here with you
Let's get down to business
To defeat, the void
If you, won't be soldiers
I will get, Annoyed
You're the least sane bunch I've ever met
But you can bet, before we're through
Mister, I'll
Kill some Void
Here with you.
Sturdy as a Mountain
but a fire within
If you work together
we are sure, to win
you're a crazed, insane, pathetic lot
but listen up, I'll promise you
Somehow I'll
kill some void
here with you
I'm never gonna learn to death
Said goodbye to those who knew me
Boy was I a fool in to think that we could win,
Demon's got us scared to death
Hope they do not run right through me
Now I really with that I could brew poison
Kill the Void
You must be ready to Death a warrior
Kill the void
And to poison the mages too
kill the void
You must run though the Morpheus demons
be ready to light the shadow behind you
Time is racing towards us
Till the void, arrive
Give the void no quarter
And we might survive
You're not suited for, The voidic war
You're all I got, You'll have to do
So now I'll
Kill some void
Here with you
Kill the Void
You must be ready to Death a warrior
Kill the void
And to poison the mages too
kill the void
You must run though the Morpheus demons
be ready to light the shadow behind you
Kill the Void
You must be ready to Death a warrior
Kill the void
And to poison the mages too
kill the void
You must run though the Morpheus demons
be ready to light the shadow behind you
-
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Part 6: The night before Larping
Twas the night before larping and all through the camp
Not a creature was stirring, not even a vamp
The treasure was hid, near the traps with great care,
In hopes that adventurers soon would be there.
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Void Spawn danced in their heads.
And Milo with his swords, and Pry with his shield,
Had just started one last patrol of the field.
When out on the commons arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Rai blinked like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
New moon gave no light, yet still there was glow
lights of orange green and purple all shown down below.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
Undead, Void, and Mages, A battle was Near
We took up our weapons, so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment the fight would be thick.
More rapid than eagles, the corsairs, they came,
The dark elves with whistles, the limbs they did maim
"Now slash 'em! now, bash 'em! now, curse 'em and hex 'em!
On, Combat! On, to it! on, on forward to Blitz 'em!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, when they start to die.
So up to the house-top the corsairs they fled,
leaving mountains of loot, and their piles of dead
And then, in a crashing, I heard on the roof
The fighting and smashing was getting quite rough.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down from the roof top Faelin came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
the head of a void spawn was held in his hand,
And he looked quite excited, for the fight was quite grand.
Taka and Siri they stood back to back
To fend off yet another sudden attack
Copper the imp, he took up his bow,
Every shaft that he loosed, each struck an orange glow.
The tough old man Ray, he gritted his teeth,
as to others vitality he did bequeath.
Nearby stood and Ace with a giant round shield,
Eying the mayhem let loose on the field
In the edge of the fight stood a strange looking half-elf,
Nearby were the gypsies, looting bodies for wealth
On Came a Behemoth with a massive horned head,
We'd all come to know that was something to dread.
It spoke not a word, but went straight to Its work,
It bashed all the fighters, then turned with a jerk.
And Raising its claws, ten feet surely they rose,
Then giving a roar, and away off he goes!
He sprang off away, to the town gave whistle,
And then spoke some words in a voice full of gristle
Then I heard him exclaim, as he walked out of sight,
"Happy Larping to all, and to all a good-fight!"
-
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
SUZUKI RAIDEN VERSUS PROFESSOR SAM ATHRO
BEGIN
Rai: I'm the Thunderbolt, I'm the Lightning Mage
When you try to glow pink, fills me with rage
Got a mana pool, and I'm gonna get you
But ya won't see me comin UNBLINK STUN SUBDUE!
Athro: I'm for science, dude, and it's just a fact
You're not just facin me, it's the whole viva pack
I'll go any length, all my questions to answer
You just can't win, VIVA LA VIVAMANCERS
Rai: Oh you think I'm runnin from just one big nerd
Look around, check it out , you're the last of the herd
Cause Taka is gone, Faelin and Aces, too
All that is left is me, comin here, gunnin for you
I'm gonna kick your ass, man It's gonna be fun
There will only be scorch marks left when I'm done
You're just a failed professor, not good in a fight
Finish you, get my vengeance, before you get a pink light
I'll pick up my spear, beat on you like a drum
It's already over, I SUMMON THE MAELSTROM!
Athro: Just keep talking, you're a flash in the pan
We've already completed part one of the plan
The spirit's awakened, and with danger you're rife
Just listen and you'll hear how we freed audacious life
We got our symbiotes, we got modified haunts
Rebuilding Saer, what more could you want
We are the wave of the future You're a thing of the past
So go on home to Xheng, till you breath your last
You want to live forever? That can be arranged
Turning down that kind of offer just makes you deranged
That's all I've got to say, Just like the tower we're done
Let's face it, Death Lost, The Vivamancers Won
Rai: It's the end of you and the whole pink crew
The Death servants all comin for a piece of you
What you do is unnatural, it is just plain wrong
now the lightning Xheng with ring your bell like a gong
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
-
OMG this is the best.
On the other hand, so many of the stars of the old rap battles are dead now... /feels
-
then clearly that just means that the new people need to do some memorable things (and by that I mean interesting pvp conflicts) so that I can make new ones
-
I shall get right on that Professor Bark Bark!
-
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how his guitar used to make us smile
And I knew if he'd had his chance
That he could make the townsfolk dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
But January made me shiver
With all the news that got delivered
sad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When learned he's leaving with his bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day Cap said goodbye
[Chorus:]
So bye, bye, to our Leodan Guy
Saved the town from burning down, now with laws we comply
With a pair of swords hanging right at his side
And now we must be sayin goodbye
Now we must be sayin goodbye
[Verse 1]
Oh, Did he write the book of law
Does he punch bandits in the jaw
All the townsfolk tell me so
So did he believe in sword and steel
Did he, by magic, annoyed feel?
And do you believe me, when I say that this is real
Well, I know the town's in love with him
'Cause I saw them singin songs of him
We all were kickin ass
Though our manners were rather crass
We were a town with laws not given truck
With bandits, monsters, and no given fucks
And we knew we were out of luck
The day cap said goodbye
[Chorus:]
We were singin
bye, bye, to our Leodan Guy
Saved the town from burning down, now with laws we comply
With a pair of swords hanging right at his side
And now we must be sayin goodbye
Now we must be sayin goodbye
[Verse 2]
Now for three years he's improved the place
Even supervised a mayoral race
But that's not how it used to be
When the violence rang all through the streets
And for crazy crimes we would compete
And demons that came for you and me
Oh, and while it all was looking down
This man he strode into the town
The courts no more adjourned
The verdicts were returned
And while Deniyah read a book of jokes
The bandits all began to croak
And we no more, the town's laws broke
And then cap said goodbye
[Chorus:]
We were singin
bye, bye, to our Leodan Guy
Saved the town from burning down, now with laws we comply
With a pair of swords hanging right at his side
And now we must be sayin goodbye
Now we must be sayin goodbye
[Verse 3]
Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off seekin some kind of shelter
The time of peace could never last
We'll be doing battle on the grass
And even might be kickin ass
But the captain, no more in, this roll cast
Now at times he cursed and swore and fumed
While the town marched to a crazy tune
With madness we would dance
And with demons take a chance
But then the captain showed up on the field
The rule of law refused to yield
now we recall what we did feel
The day Cap said goodbye
[Chorus:]
We were singin
bye, bye, to our Leodan Guy
Saved the town from burning down, now with laws we comply
With a pair of swords hanging right at his side
And now we must be sayin goodbye
Now we must be sayin goodbye
[Verse 4]
Oh, and there we were all in one place
A town lost in a deadly race
With no time left to start again
So come on, Cap be nimble, Cap be quick
Cap beats demons with a stick
'Cause Captain here is Whitewood's only friend
Oh, and as I watched him leave this place
The tears rolled slowly from my face
No song produced by man
Could lift our saddened band
And as the flames climbed high into the night
Loomed like a sacrificial rite
I saw demons laughing with delight
The day Cap said goodbye
[Chorus:]
We were singin
bye, bye, to our Leodan Guy
Saved the town from burning down, now with laws we comply
With a pair of swords hanging right at his side
And now we must be sayin goodbye
Now we must be sayin goodbye
[Outro]
I met a girl who sang and healed
The Captain's hat, would often steal
But she just cried and turned away
I went down to that sacred shore
Where the Captain washed up years before
but his footprints on the sand had washed away
And to the streets, the townsfolk streamed
Said their goodbyes as dreamers dreamed
And all the words were spoken
And not a law was broken
And the Captain I admired most
Who'd faced demons, monsters, even ghosts
he caught a ship off from the coast
The day Cap said goodbye
[Chorus:] x2
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found this today in one of my old notebooks It was labeled "Whitewood children's story request response"
I don't remember ever writing it, or who requested it. It's a bit out of date but it made me laugh
Good night Whitewood
Good night moon
Good night sky
Good night demons that I wish would die
Good night bandits, slinking through the trees
Good night crazed imps, loading catapults with bees
Good night farmers, forming one more mob
Good night Theo, please do your job
Good night corpses he has yet to bury
Good night dread knight who is so scary
Good night wizard who does sparkle and glow
Good night to her rival, the captain Milo
Good night behemoth, and Good night Rai
Good night Whitewood, please don't make me die
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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW!
HART PASARI! VERSUS! KAYA VERIDICA!
BEGIN!
HART: Let me jump right in, ain't got time for this feces
Lady, I save the world, I think you should just quit
'Cause everybody knows I'm just a better healer
Runa girl should take off before Legati steal her.
While she's shooting off her arrows up on the porch
I got the brownie sword putting bandits to torch
I'd throw down the gauntlet, say the gloves came off
but yours seems stuck, not your blood though, "cough"
KAYA: You wanna pick a fight, You can be my guest.
Runa army trained me to stand above the rest
But if you're cruising for a bruising, well I'm your girl
gonna conquer you like Runa did the world.
Look outside, Hart, that's my flag flying over us,
taking you down will be Glorious
Cause I can actually fight, You're a target at best
You picked the wrong place to be a pacifist.
HART: You Runa think you're so tough, but you're all the same
and your minds are too rigid to keep ahead of the game
you're not the center of the world but, but you act like it
And the rest of Terra's getting tired of your feces
and you act so proper, but solve problems with force
it will end when your army gets eaten by Orcs
You can't turn undead, and I wonder why
when they all come to town bet you're gonna die
give it up, you lost, hey I said I'd be quick
so stop bleeding on your spackets girl, that's just sick.
KAYA: Show respect, blood magic is a sacred art
but you wouldn't understand, not enough heart
so take a step back, Mr. Brownie boy
we adults use magic that ain't just a toy
I can actually help when we're in a fight
while you play silly games with your glamour light
when the going gets tough, Runa just get tougher
And the world pays rough, so I must play rougher
when could you beat me? Well the answer's never
For the Emperor I win, may he live forever.
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW!
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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
ODION VS LUTHALI VAS KOVE
BEGIN
ODION: You ready to fight? You should just surrender.
I wanted a challenge, you're just a pretender
a matched pair of swords, just one of them silver
fighting for a crusade that's full of serial killers
Let me just point out, there's something wrong with this picture
I thought this was AW, and yet you're playing Witcher.
Now ready yourself, and both your pint sized blades
Half emo elf can step up but he'll just get played
LUTHALI: Call me a pretender? Just look in the mirror.
You're a wannabe high elf, who dragged his dad here.
My idols are renowned for their deadly skills.
Yours are only known for their drugs and frills
In this showdown I'll break you down
I'll run you out this sorry town
You stumble around getting high on light
I'm impressed you even found your way here to fight
you think that big sword you got is, oh so great
I think you have it just to compensate
ODION: You've missed the point, in life you're supposed to have fun
not sulk in the corner to avoid the sun
I walk in the gleaming path of Mother Light
you wait for depressing missions each night
So here, take this, come back once you drank it
might make your personality less like a wet blanket
All reality's manifest for us to enjoy
and magic can be a tool, but also a toy
So calm down, take a drink, enjoy yourself
I got a special one here, made just for half el-
LUTHALI: SHUT UP! You addict. I get it, you're high,
But I'll still be standing here when both your kidneys die
You're a short sighted drunkard with drugs in his blood
and as soon as you run out you'll be facedown in the mud
Yes it's true compared to you my life is more dark and gritty
You can talk a good game but then you fight real shitty
And then the lights go out and I go on the attack,
Father Darkness followers extinguish light so make tracks
I hit faster, I'm the master, I strike harder, don't bother
Mother Light won't help you here. So go cry to your Father.
GODECK (Surprise):
You wanna sit here and talk feces about drinking and Light,
I find it quite odd considering your bar tab last night.
This is my temple you're in, so drop down and pay respect
talking feces about Mother Light could get a half dark elf wrecked
I sit upon a pile of power neither of you could climb
Stealing skulls from old tombs just to fill my spare time
I'm the secret super power sitting here in Whitewood
in the library and the temple cause I'm just that good
Both of you are open books, no one knows just what I do
As far as either of you know I could turn you both into goo
I can do dark and brooding better than Mr. Twin swords
You don't even want to know what I do with demon hordes
As for the half drugged-Elf, I expected more fight
Is this the best you can do in the name of Mother Light
I'll smack both of you down I'm way above you weak chumps
Top dog of the temple here to dish out lumps
For representing your idols, you are both sub par
Now get the hell out of my Temple, and Bar.
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AW
THE WIZARD FIZZBANG VERSUS THE LAWS OF NATURE
BEGIN
Fizzbang:
Imma jump right in, ya'll just watch me
Mad Science, weird magic, Onna roll ya see
Built a thing, what it does, I just don't know
But I'm gonna pull the lever as my verses flow
Never once will I ask how could this go wrong
It will work, or I'll find out, at the end of this song
BOOOM!
(FUTURE FIZBANG APPEARS IN A FLASH OF LIGHT COVERED IN SOOT. WISPS OF SMOKE RISE FROM HIS CLOTHING AND HAIR)
Future Fizzbang:
NO NO NO You dolt! Don't pull that lever
the wires got crossed! Don't do it ever
Your equation's messed up on the thirtysecond line
I'm not quite sure how, but that machine travels time!
You never did learn to double check your work
You've got all the scientific caution of one James T Kirk
now go reread your notes on this half assed design
The Capacitors should be parallel, not in series you blind-
Fizzbang:
Let me cut you off there, I don't mean to stare
But it seems there's still combustion going on in your hair
I admit, you present some intriguing data
That just makes me want to pull the lever now, not Later
I'm the mastermind of the fun experiments
Into the wall of ignorance I'm putting big dents
I don't ask if I should, only if I could
no need to waste time asking if I would
You think you could stop me
Not even I could stop me
Or is it, you could stop you?
Not sure, don't care, we're Through
Future Fizzbang:
Seriously? Please. Whatever you're about to do DON'T DO IT!
You don't wanna see what time will do you when ya go through it
You pull that lever you'll want to tell yourself you blew it
And I'll be here to tell you this whole time that I knew it
Just listen to You! I mean I mean you listen to me
this whole crazy plan is just out of its tree
This is gonna go wrong, I know cause I did it
That's what I'm trying to tell you but you just don't get it.
You built a magical grid with no safety switch
and that rune right there is some wonky feces
Just stop right now, we're not that clever
Just don't, please don't, don't pull that lever
Fizzbang
I've heard enough, and made some changes
I'll admit I learned something from your future strangeness
I cut this wire and I flipped that switch
rotated this rune, and I fixed that stitch
gonna make this machine work cause I'm just that clever
Stand aside Kronk, IMMA PULL THE LEVER!
KAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE